IT Fair 12-15 March 2009

IT Fair ... The fair where all goes for cheaper electronics and IT products ... The one most look forward to every 3 months for the best deal ...

It's also one fair that can draw the largest number of people to ... Unfortunately, due to unforseen circumstances, I had to go there everyday to check out on something ... Got myself a laptop by instalment plan ... Got Jeff a laptop haversack, laptop sleeve, external harddisk, laptop fan, etc ...

I am never gonna go to such fair, ever again if I can avoid ... I almost fainted in the middle of the traffic while trying to squeeze my way from booth to booth ... Traffic was so bad that it's skin to skin while trying to make my way around in the hall ...

I was especially disgusted seeing the amount of litter left by Singaporeans at the end of the day ... The were designated bins for recycling purposes ... Instead, leaflets, brochures conveniently left their grip and dropped to the floor as each visitor move around the halls ...

Should that be the behaviour of a community who have been taught in school and by many govt-run campaigns for not littering? ... No wonder we are labelled "Ugly Singaporeans" when travelling overseas ... Many took that opportunity to do things which are not allowed back home and disgusted the locals ...

I hope they will be more considerate at the next fair, holding on to the flyers till they spotted a recycle bin which were conveniently located at the entrances/exits ... There's no excuse for not being able to find a bin ...

Mum's Depression

Things thrown ... Slaps given ... Nasty words hurled ... Once sat on the kitchen window, with one leg on the outside ... Ready to leave all behind ... Right in front of my eyes ... Today ...

Once a strong, stubborn woman ... Now a depressed woman who can't control her thoughts, feelings and behaviour anymore ... Yes ... That's her, my mum ... Though she's still as stubborn as before ...

It was never easy to be a caregiver for someone suffering from long-term illness ... Especially an illness like Alzheimer's Disease which takes away one's memory bit by bit, very slowly ...

Everyday having to worry about his safety when out of sight, monitor his diet, prepare his medication, get scolded for helping him, bathe him, etc ... That's what she has been doing to dad for the last 3 years ...

Very often, frustration was taken out on dad by words or hitting when he doesn't co-operate with her ... Have mentioned to her that whenever she feels that she can't control her emotions anymore, just walk away ... Take a deep breath, then come back to the problem ... NO TIME is the answer ... Always claimed to be tied up with "housework" whereby what's left for her to do are basic cleaning of the house, washing of hers and dad's clothing and cooking (optional) ...

Tried so hard explaining to her the importance of taking care of her health too ... Deaf ear turned ... Tried talking to her nicely ... Not a word register in her mind ... Whatever others say is never right ... If scream at her, will threaten to commit suicide ... Wanna get a maid for her ... Rejected ... Says maid won't do job to her standards ... Will have conflict ...

Mum ... Please tell us what we should do so that you can feel happy again ... We cannot perform miracle on dad's condition for sure ... Want more money? ... I'm jobless now ... I still try my best to give you all I have ... We have all tried to adjust our schedule around you ... We have not left much housework for you anymore ... We would love to chat with you if only you dun become so defensive at every single conversation ...

Mum ... We will always be there for you ... You are never alone ... We all took on different responsibilities to ensure the family still function as normal ... Let's all work hand in hand to achieve true happiness, challenging all obstacles and emerge as winners ... Mum, we all love you ...

Daddy Is Still Aware ...

Last night Jacqueline and Merc dropped by to pass me back my shawl which was left in Luke's car the night of Jacqueline's birthday celebration ... They hoped we can catch up for kopi before Jacq returns to DXB this morning ... It was 12.10am ...

Tot I could sneak out for a short while ... Sigh ... Caught red-handed ... And surprisingly, it was dad who caught me! ... He heard me opening the door and asked why was I going out so late ... Wow! ... I'm impressed ... He knew how late it was ... But ... But ... But ... That would mean I can't go for kopi liao ... Sianz ...

Didn't wana upset anyone further after declaring cold war with mum for maintaining curfew on me since Jacq's birthday on 27 Feb ... Sign ... Good daughter or not? ... I really dunno ah ... Juz felt that since this time it was dad who has voiced out his concerns clearly, tot it's nice to show him some respect ...

How long can I tahan this? ... Sigh ...

It's never enough ...

Why did I come back? ... I'm starting to doubt my decision ...

I juz go back home ... Yes, it's 3.45am when I got home ... Mum heard me opening the door ... Before I can even close the door securely, she questioned what time it was ... Replied her the actual time and immediately she asked why I come back so late ...

Tried explaining to her that it was a very good friend's birthday who had helped in time of crisis ... Can't juz leave early isn't it ... She replied no matter what the reason is have to get back home by 12 midnight ... Even for a 34-yr old gal? ...

I' ve tried to stay at home as much as I can to minimize expenses ... I've been away on BKK from 16-24 Feb, thereafter I went to the hospital on 25 Feb ... Din dare to go out on 26 Feb ... Then it was Jacqueline's birthday today (27 Feb) ...

What more does she want? ... Stay at home 24-7? ... Juz can't believe it ... It's worse than a teenager's curfew ...